i lost my words today

Today I got into a conversation with a guy on my program about revolutions. He told me that he thought the social movements of the sixties were kind of pointless, and that they didn't do a lot, except for let people run around irresponsibly and catch a lot of STDs.

I said, wait, what? I knew you had very different opinions with me on many subjects, but really? What about, say, that little thing called the Civil Rights Movement? And the fact that a bunch of the anti-war activists were also involved in that movement, and that it was such an important period of social change, which influenced the next half decade of political discourse? Even if you don't agree with their methods, or even all of their ends? But the civil rights movement? Really?

(By the way, he's an aspiring politician)

He said, not really responding to the enormous amount of emphasis I put on the civil rights movement (he's also a great supporter of Obama the almost-president, which magnified my astonishment), "Well, but they didn't really do anything. I mean, all they did was protest the Vietnam War, and I mean, well...I don't like losing."

(me with my mouth gaping open in shock)

He continues. "I mean, I just really hate losing. I don't want us to lose the war in Iraq, I just really hate it when America loses."

And that was when I lost my words.

Its totally cliched, but sometimes that's just how life is.

A young woman sits on her bed in a tiny room in a tiny apartment in Santiago, Chile, happy and disbelieving tears running down her face, listening to her new president speak. For the first time in her life, she really is proud of her country.

She knows that tomorrow she, along with thousands, will have to continue fighting and questioning. Obviously.
But for tonight, she celebrates. YAY OBAMA!!!

Its the night before the United States election

And I am absolutely terrified.

I am terrified that something will happen to Obama. I am terrified that something will happen to the dearest and most accurate electronic voting machines that we use in the "world's greatest democracy". I am terrified because I know that many of these voting machines have already malfunctioned. I am terrified that the Republicans will pull another Florida 2000, or Ohio 2004. I am terrified that despite the incredible amount of hope in this election, my fellow citizens will be absolutely apathetic in the face of another Florida 2000, or Ohio 2004, that nobody will fight, that their voices will be suppressed until the "angry liberals" become a national joke. I am terrified that Joe the Plumber has been conceived of as a good marketing technique.
I am terrified because I still have so little faith in the people of my nation.
I am terrified that somebody could go so low as to steal every single Obama-Biden yard sign in Las Vegas, New Mexico, less than a week before the election. I am terrified that people take Sarah Palin seriously. I am terrified that tomorrow I will wake up and find out that this entire thing has been a dream. I am terrified that the rhetoric Obama has been forced to adopt in his search for national acceptance will continue in his real foreign policy. I am terrified that horrible things will be done to try and prevent Democrats from voting.
But mostly, I am very scared, and very sad, that this election which has almost restored a little bit of hope in my heart and mind that perhaps my country can do something good after all will end up absolutely and forever destroying that hope.
Despite my cynicism, I am an incredibly idealistic person, to be cynical is good protection from the bitter disappointment I feel whenever the world doesn't live up to my expectations of goodness and perfection. This election has showed me that I am capable of more hope than I am inclined to admit. In addition to the terrified heart-clenching that comes whenever I think about tomorrow, I get excited hopeful butterflies in my stomach.
I'm just praying that the butterflies will prevail.