In your life, you will write a book, have a child, and plant a tree, the wise one says.
Look, you just planted a tree!
22.12.08
Notro, its a native species you know
A young woman shovels dirt into a hole with a peeling green paint shovel, while an older woman holds the little tree in place.
15.12.08
Be nice to her dear, she's italian!
- 2008, Bologna, A black woman enters a mail boxes, expedition and graphics office with her baby in a stroller. After they leave, the owner of the office starts grumbling, first quietly then gradually louder: "the negro baby of shit. i have found out that there are two black kids in my son's class at school, soon I am going to go talk to the teacher, it can't continue like this!"
-2000, Rovereto, The city councilman of the National Alliance, Pappolla declares that "the communal administration of our city, which unfortunately doesn't have the power to expel the foreign residents, thus has to make these people live in the worst conditions as possible." And so he asks, in an interrogation to "block each iniciative that would favor the development and diffusion of the muslim culture in our city."
-2000, Trento, The daily " L'Alto Adige" publishes an interview with a self-declared Islam scholar, who affirms that "Islam does not grant any possibility to science, limits strongly artistic, musical amd literary creativity: so the occidental civilization finds itself face to face with the growth of a population that does not supply any critical or intelligent contribution."
-2001, Roma, Silvio Berlusconi states: " We have to be conscious of the superiority of our civilization. A civilization that has given space to the well-being of many populations. A civilization that gurantees the respect to human rights, religion and politics. A respect that certainly doesn't exist in Islamic countries... The occident is destined to occidentalize and the conquer populations. It has done it with the communist world and with a part of the Islamic world. But there's another part of this worls that has remained 1400 in the past."
-2001, Bologna, A bus driver refuses to let a woman with a baby in his bus, closing the doors to her face and adding a pretext that she wears the "islamic veil" (in reality simply a scarf).
-2001, Vigevano, A 14 year old Moroccon gets bullied in front of the school byt two classmates. No one intervenes while he is slapped, punched and insulted heavily: " You are like Bin Laden! You are like him! Go back to your own country, muslim of shit!"
-2002, Bologna, In the San Petronio church of Bologna, four Moroccons and an Italian professor of Art History yet arrested while filming with a videocamera the famous fresco that depicts Muhammed in the Dantesque circle of the worshippers. The five people, initially suspected to be from the Al- Qa'ida and to want to organize an attack to the basilica are later released and exonerated.
-2008, Bologna, A girl in her 20s, talks in a southern Italian dialect on the phone. The mother standing next to her, turns to her son, who is staring harshly at the girl who speaks a language he doesn't understand, and says "Be nice to her dear, she's italian!"
-2000, Rovereto, The city councilman of the National Alliance, Pappolla declares that "the communal administration of our city, which unfortunately doesn't have the power to expel the foreign residents, thus has to make these people live in the worst conditions as possible." And so he asks, in an interrogation to "block each iniciative that would favor the development and diffusion of the muslim culture in our city."
-2000, Trento, The daily " L'Alto Adige" publishes an interview with a self-declared Islam scholar, who affirms that "Islam does not grant any possibility to science, limits strongly artistic, musical amd literary creativity: so the occidental civilization finds itself face to face with the growth of a population that does not supply any critical or intelligent contribution."
-2001, Roma, Silvio Berlusconi states: " We have to be conscious of the superiority of our civilization. A civilization that has given space to the well-being of many populations. A civilization that gurantees the respect to human rights, religion and politics. A respect that certainly doesn't exist in Islamic countries... The occident is destined to occidentalize and the conquer populations. It has done it with the communist world and with a part of the Islamic world. But there's another part of this worls that has remained 1400 in the past."
-2001, Bologna, A bus driver refuses to let a woman with a baby in his bus, closing the doors to her face and adding a pretext that she wears the "islamic veil" (in reality simply a scarf).
-2001, Vigevano, A 14 year old Moroccon gets bullied in front of the school byt two classmates. No one intervenes while he is slapped, punched and insulted heavily: " You are like Bin Laden! You are like him! Go back to your own country, muslim of shit!"
-2002, Bologna, In the San Petronio church of Bologna, four Moroccons and an Italian professor of Art History yet arrested while filming with a videocamera the famous fresco that depicts Muhammed in the Dantesque circle of the worshippers. The five people, initially suspected to be from the Al- Qa'ida and to want to organize an attack to the basilica are later released and exonerated.
-2008, Bologna, A girl in her 20s, talks in a southern Italian dialect on the phone. The mother standing next to her, turns to her son, who is staring harshly at the girl who speaks a language he doesn't understand, and says "Be nice to her dear, she's italian!"
19.11.08
i lost my words today
Today I got into a conversation with a guy on my program about revolutions. He told me that he thought the social movements of the sixties were kind of pointless, and that they didn't do a lot, except for let people run around irresponsibly and catch a lot of STDs.
I said, wait, what? I knew you had very different opinions with me on many subjects, but really? What about, say, that little thing called the Civil Rights Movement? And the fact that a bunch of the anti-war activists were also involved in that movement, and that it was such an important period of social change, which influenced the next half decade of political discourse? Even if you don't agree with their methods, or even all of their ends? But the civil rights movement? Really?
(By the way, he's an aspiring politician)
He said, not really responding to the enormous amount of emphasis I put on the civil rights movement (he's also a great supporter of Obama the almost-president, which magnified my astonishment), "Well, but they didn't really do anything. I mean, all they did was protest the Vietnam War, and I mean, well...I don't like losing."
(me with my mouth gaping open in shock)
He continues. "I mean, I just really hate losing. I don't want us to lose the war in Iraq, I just really hate it when America loses."
And that was when I lost my words.
I said, wait, what? I knew you had very different opinions with me on many subjects, but really? What about, say, that little thing called the Civil Rights Movement? And the fact that a bunch of the anti-war activists were also involved in that movement, and that it was such an important period of social change, which influenced the next half decade of political discourse? Even if you don't agree with their methods, or even all of their ends? But the civil rights movement? Really?
(By the way, he's an aspiring politician)
He said, not really responding to the enormous amount of emphasis I put on the civil rights movement (he's also a great supporter of Obama the almost-president, which magnified my astonishment), "Well, but they didn't really do anything. I mean, all they did was protest the Vietnam War, and I mean, well...I don't like losing."
(me with my mouth gaping open in shock)
He continues. "I mean, I just really hate losing. I don't want us to lose the war in Iraq, I just really hate it when America loses."
And that was when I lost my words.
4.11.08
Its totally cliched, but sometimes that's just how life is.
A young woman sits on her bed in a tiny room in a tiny apartment in Santiago, Chile, happy and disbelieving tears running down her face, listening to her new president speak. For the first time in her life, she really is proud of her country.
She knows that tomorrow she, along with thousands, will have to continue fighting and questioning. Obviously.
But for tonight, she celebrates. YAY OBAMA!!!
3.11.08
Its the night before the United States election
And I am absolutely terrified.
I am terrified that something will happen to Obama. I am terrified that something will happen to the dearest and most accurate electronic voting machines that we use in the "world's greatest democracy". I am terrified because I know that many of these voting machines have already malfunctioned. I am terrified that the Republicans will pull another Florida 2000, or Ohio 2004. I am terrified that despite the incredible amount of hope in this election, my fellow citizens will be absolutely apathetic in the face of another Florida 2000, or Ohio 2004, that nobody will fight, that their voices will be suppressed until the "angry liberals" become a national joke. I am terrified that Joe the Plumber has been conceived of as a good marketing technique.
I am terrified because I still have so little faith in the people of my nation.
I am terrified that somebody could go so low as to steal every single Obama-Biden yard sign in Las Vegas, New Mexico, less than a week before the election. I am terrified that people take Sarah Palin seriously. I am terrified that tomorrow I will wake up and find out that this entire thing has been a dream. I am terrified that the rhetoric Obama has been forced to adopt in his search for national acceptance will continue in his real foreign policy. I am terrified that horrible things will be done to try and prevent Democrats from voting.
But mostly, I am very scared, and very sad, that this election which has almost restored a little bit of hope in my heart and mind that perhaps my country can do something good after all will end up absolutely and forever destroying that hope.
Despite my cynicism, I am an incredibly idealistic person, to be cynical is good protection from the bitter disappointment I feel whenever the world doesn't live up to my expectations of goodness and perfection. This election has showed me that I am capable of more hope than I am inclined to admit. In addition to the terrified heart-clenching that comes whenever I think about tomorrow, I get excited hopeful butterflies in my stomach.
I'm just praying that the butterflies will prevail.
I am terrified that something will happen to Obama. I am terrified that something will happen to the dearest and most accurate electronic voting machines that we use in the "world's greatest democracy". I am terrified because I know that many of these voting machines have already malfunctioned. I am terrified that the Republicans will pull another Florida 2000, or Ohio 2004. I am terrified that despite the incredible amount of hope in this election, my fellow citizens will be absolutely apathetic in the face of another Florida 2000, or Ohio 2004, that nobody will fight, that their voices will be suppressed until the "angry liberals" become a national joke. I am terrified that Joe the Plumber has been conceived of as a good marketing technique.
I am terrified because I still have so little faith in the people of my nation.
I am terrified that somebody could go so low as to steal every single Obama-Biden yard sign in Las Vegas, New Mexico, less than a week before the election. I am terrified that people take Sarah Palin seriously. I am terrified that tomorrow I will wake up and find out that this entire thing has been a dream. I am terrified that the rhetoric Obama has been forced to adopt in his search for national acceptance will continue in his real foreign policy. I am terrified that horrible things will be done to try and prevent Democrats from voting.
But mostly, I am very scared, and very sad, that this election which has almost restored a little bit of hope in my heart and mind that perhaps my country can do something good after all will end up absolutely and forever destroying that hope.
Despite my cynicism, I am an incredibly idealistic person, to be cynical is good protection from the bitter disappointment I feel whenever the world doesn't live up to my expectations of goodness and perfection. This election has showed me that I am capable of more hope than I am inclined to admit. In addition to the terrified heart-clenching that comes whenever I think about tomorrow, I get excited hopeful butterflies in my stomach.
I'm just praying that the butterflies will prevail.
6.10.08
el desastre
Naomi Klein spoke at the University of Chicago a little while ago. Democracy Now! played her speech (headlines come before it...):
Lets think of new ideas to leave lying around, preferably in strategic places.
21.9.08
la destra
A dinner table in northern Italy. Three Americans, a Brasilian, a Turk and an Italian. Everyone strives to communicate in Italian, the Italian seems annoyed with the pace of the others' sentences. An American attempts to tell a joke about Berlusconi, due to the complexity of the sentence, pauses at first, thinks a bit, then says "Do you like Berlusconi?" to the Italian. Unexpectedly, he answers "yes." All the liberal arts college students stop moving in shock. They are so very used to liberal points of view and understanding responses. The joke is never told, and the conversation ends when the Italian says " I don't allow any talk of communists or juventus in my house." It's 2008.
6.9.08
article
http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/04/the-mirrored-ceiling/
I like how Judith Warner thinks.
I like how Judith Warner thinks.
1.9.08
Sarah Palin
Who the hell is presumptuous enough to think that intelligent feminist women will vote for a stupid old man just because his running mate is also a woman? That's so insulting. If Hillary Clinton had been nominated and chosen a man as her potential vice president, there would be nobody talking about how it could attract the male vote. And no one talks about Biden's whiteness being a potential draw for white voters.
This election is so damn sexist. Because apparently us women are now dumb enough to switch from Clinton to a woman who is against abortion, wants to drill for oil in the Arctic Wildlife Preserve, and denies that global warming is affected by human behaviour.
US politics make me so frustrated.
This election is so damn sexist. Because apparently us women are now dumb enough to switch from Clinton to a woman who is against abortion, wants to drill for oil in the Arctic Wildlife Preserve, and denies that global warming is affected by human behaviour.
US politics make me so frustrated.
Pensamientos
I've been thinking a lot these days, about politics and social movements and apathy and stupidity and where I fit in, and what I am doing in my life (and this is unusual?, you say skeptically). But I was just reading the blog of our friend (its a great blog), and I had an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. Which is completely irrational, because I know that we all have different manners of exploring and journeys in our lives, and that I really can't do everything. But at the moment, he's traveling around Israel and Palestine and planning to spend a semester of the next year studying in universities in each. And I'm sitting in Chile, avoiding a paper, reading his blog which is wonderfully written and full of insightful reflections. And I know that I'm here for a reason, and I'm trying to make the most of it, but it seems so mundane right now.
That it seems mundane is I think part of what bothers me. My time last summer working at the US-Mexico border was so intense, so full of overwhelming information and really really tangible tragedy (and wonderful instances of human goodness). I found myself thinking many of the same things he is writing about right now, and I still haven't completely processed it (as is obvious). I also know I'll go back, which is a little comforting. But that experience makes this one seem so irrationally frivolous.
Irrational, because I know it isn't frivolous at all. I'm learning so much, having so many experiences that I could never otherwise have, and I have so many reasons to be here. And I know in a way that its all part of my larger education, that the things I learn here (even if all I learn is Spanish) will be infinitely useful later on in my life. I do love this place, as well. And I intellectually know that all experiences cannot be earth-shaking, and that its terrible to judge their value by how traumatizing they are. But there's this little nagging frustration that I'm not doing something with this semester that really shakes how I think about the world, and its not a very nice feeling.
I guess unsettled would be a good way to describe it. Dearest e, why must I continuously analyze and agonize over my existence in the world?
That it seems mundane is I think part of what bothers me. My time last summer working at the US-Mexico border was so intense, so full of overwhelming information and really really tangible tragedy (and wonderful instances of human goodness). I found myself thinking many of the same things he is writing about right now, and I still haven't completely processed it (as is obvious). I also know I'll go back, which is a little comforting. But that experience makes this one seem so irrationally frivolous.
Irrational, because I know it isn't frivolous at all. I'm learning so much, having so many experiences that I could never otherwise have, and I have so many reasons to be here. And I know in a way that its all part of my larger education, that the things I learn here (even if all I learn is Spanish) will be infinitely useful later on in my life. I do love this place, as well. And I intellectually know that all experiences cannot be earth-shaking, and that its terrible to judge their value by how traumatizing they are. But there's this little nagging frustration that I'm not doing something with this semester that really shakes how I think about the world, and its not a very nice feeling.
I guess unsettled would be a good way to describe it. Dearest e, why must I continuously analyze and agonize over my existence in the world?
9.8.08
we do this all the time.
La chat non verrà salvata nel registro.
me: schmorion
you: hi
me: whatup.
im bored again
you: not alot
me: oh, had you read the kite runner?
you: i'm trying to decide what to do with my life
yes, i have
me: oh yes, life decisions suck.
had you liked it?
you: no, not life decisions, just now decisions
in a way
it’s well written
but i liked his second book better
porque?
me: i didn't like the book at all. i thought it gave into orientalis thinking in some ways. i hated his use of persian words- it felt like he was making the land sound foreign, exotic by using persian words which are easily translatable and not special and in my opinion potentially confusing to non persian understanders. also, i had a really hard time believing the narrator's shame in what he had done.
i really disliked the book.
also, maybe because i know it's been made a movie, i kept on thinking it was like a screenplay with only the plot that's significant and otherwise devoid of literary effort.
you: i agree in that way
but any book about a place such as
and it could have been more complicated
for me, i think i would have liked it more if it hadn't been talked about so much
what pisses me off is that people speak of it as if its the only true representation of
but the book itself can't be blamed for that
me: hm, i can't say i've read or watched many reviews. most would be on the film i'd assume.
but yes,
i can imagine how people would do that
you: no, i've just heard about it a lot
like, in every bookstore its the book people HAVE to read
and it was a bestseller for months
me: see, that's why i was disappointed.. because it lacks literary talent.
it's so badly written.
ok maybe not badly but it's not a great literary work
you: well yeah, its not
but its not awful
me: i might just be saying this because the two books i read before were amazing.
you: yeah
i mean, it wasn't the best writing i've ever read
me: i read lolita in english- i had read it in turkish long long time ago. and the other one is actually the translator's work but have you heard of dr. zhivago?
you: but it wasn't geared towards an audience of stellar literary critics, and it wasn't trying to be a masterpiece
me: yes
but still, put some effort into your writing.
i guess i was just disappointed because i was expecting more out of it.
you: yeah
i didn't expect a lot, maybe that's why i liked it a little
or maybe i'm comparing it to the movie, which i didn't like
me: and also, every time there was mention of the states, it was described as this heavenly place where everyone is treated wonderfully - which i'd imagine would so not be the case for an afghani
you: oh, i know
well, the father deteriorated in the us
me: yes but that doesn't change anything.
it was his own inner thing.
you: oh, lolita was great
me: loltia is amazing.
you: yes
me: every word in that book is fascinating.
you: i know!
me: the whole book is like one really sweet, lustful, magical liquid.
dude, and it's kind of creepy how as the reader you want humbert humbert to do whatever he wishes to, to lolita despite the fact that it's sick. it's that well written
you: no, you hate him, but he's fascinating
and she's frikin irritating too
it’s soooo good though
me: yes but it's just soooo well written
yep
it's definitely one of my favorite books.
i can't think of others right now though
you: but lolita is lolita, and the kite runner was written for a completely different audience
have you read possession?
me: nope, but i think you told me about this book. by a woman writer yes?
you: yes
you should read it
me: who was it by?
you: i'm not going to tell you what i think til you read it though, cause i want to see your reaction 
a.s. byatt
me: ok, i'll try to find one the next time i go to a bookstore
i'm not sure if i can though-since it's turkey.
you: but listen, lolita is lolita, and the kite runner was written for a pop-ish audience
yeah, i mean, someday read it
me: yep.
so sudden and horrible
you: i know!!!!
i was so shocked and horrified
me: yeah,
you: dude, what's up with the world?
me: my sister's summer school in
and apparently they're not sending georgian students back
it must be horrible
can you imagine,
you: wow
me: i'd be very mad if my family was in my country, in war and i was in the states
you: oh, i know
i have a couple friends who that happened to
well, not war like that, but heavy conflict, and lots of uncertainty
me: yeah
you: it was awful for them, i can only imagine how much worse it is for kids at a summer camp, with a war
me: yes
and the stupid school told the turkish students that maybe the states won't let them come back to turkey either.
you: what?
me: but that's the stupidest thought ever
you: that's ridiculous
me: because i mean
you: yeah
but that's a different geopolitical strategy, therefore a different bias
such bullshit though
me: yeah, they'll come
it's stupid
but you,
i really don't want to live a third world war.
you: me neither
really, i don't
me: i think we've been raised too spoiled and we can't take it-as a generation
you: or maybe it would make people wake up?
me: well, certainly not all.
but i mean at what cost?
also, people forget incredibly easily
you: i think our political consciousness has been eroded such that we will blindly accept incredibly destructive decisions though
me: another war and 10 years afterwards people love their comfortable homes again
yes, i agree, such as what
you: yeah
me: have you seen it in the news at all? it's regular people's houses and stuff.
see that's what i don't get.
why not the government officials' houses-surely technology's developed enough to aim that well
you: but i mean, if in WWII people accepted concentration camps in
me: yeah i know
you: well, yeah, but it was the same in
me: dude i really don't want to live a third world war.
you: i really don’t either
me: i don't think i'd survive, i'm trained only in theory not practice.
you: the other scary thing was that as soon as i saw the news my first thought was if this is the beginning of another one
me: me too
you: i think we can survive much more than we think we can
me: it's strange though.
i mean, look what we're doing now,
talking to each other in the comfort of our homes (sort of) from two different hemispheres
and it’s hard to imagine giving such things up and go back to the primitive survival conditions of war
you: that's true
me: hey can we post this on the blog too?
you: hahaha, yeah
me: and also,
doesn't it sound like something you'd read in a history book?
the start of the wwiii when
you: but i think we have skewed perceptions of what its like to live in a war
you: or when the us invaded
dunno
me: it's really scary how things change overnight too
you: yep
and how much power stupid people have
and stupid things
me: yes. but haven't we also talked about how wars have always been recorded in history as victories and glorious things?
i mean, this is no different than slaughters of 1400s
you: of course
me: and i'm thinking it's natural
but then it's unfathomable to think one can put and end to it all
you: i think we just find more complicated ways to display animal instincts, and then paint ourselves as modern and sophisticated and above barbarity
me: hey another screwed up thing is this youth constitutional draft this woman in akp wrote to supposedly protect teenagers (i don't know from what)
it had articles like
teenagers over 18 but under 22 can't go into restaurants or clubs discos bars theaters etc unaccompanied after 22.00 o'clock
you: wtf?
that's a ridiculous thing
me: she withdrew it though.
oh and it also had an article like placing worshiping chambers (temple sounds too big) in every school
for the free expression of religion she said
stupid woman.
dude, i'm seriously scared that one day these things will actually come true.
in this country
you: dude, there are a lot of things i'm scared of will come true
that's ridiculous though
me: yep
you: so my derechos humanos professor was talking about eras and other philosophical frameworky things
me: yes,
you: he said that we're now in a period of transition to a different system, but that its very gradual, and unlike in other times of transition, there is no idea of what should be next, and therefore nothing to propel the change
this explains the chaos
i think i agree with him
me: i like that.
i mean, it's relieving that it's an idea that explains everything
you: people's politics and identities and minds are so focused on the idea of the nation, its impossible to conceive of other realistic ways of being
it does explain everything
but it is grounded in concrete thought
me: haha, you made me so happy
well, your professor did
you: me too
the same class he said that
these two ideas made me love him more
me: ok kid, i have to go
because i slept very little yesterday
you: okay
me: but, one last thing
l'oreal used beyonce to advertise stuff but whitened her skin.
idiots.
i mean, on pictures not in reality=)
you: that's stupid
me: yeah
you: well, yeah
me: it's racist in the first place, but also even commercially, it's beyonce, she's so well known as she is
you: yeah
that's incredibly stupid
kid, this world is depressing
me: maybe i should change back my mind to dying when i'm 62.
you: maybe you should see what happens before that
you still have 42 years to decide
me: yes.
i'll consider.
you: good.
me: ok
you: i'd like you to live long
but go, sleep.
me: i'd like you to live longer than me, haha
you: hey!
then you'll leave me the pain
me: exactly
you: that's not fair
me: and you'll have to take care of peeling the paint=)
you: okay
you too, if the opposite happens
me: alrighty then. by-bye!
you: bye!
5.8.08
pink ribbons never existed for me. how about for you?
sometimes, when childhood friends meet, and one happens to be a couple of years older than the other, even though this age difference didn't use to be apparent in their children's relationships - except for occasional exemption of the younger one from being it during hide and seek, the older friend fills with a kind of joy peculiar solely to bigger sisters, and calls the younger friend shamelessly pretty.
4.8.08
Half my wardrobe is from Target
That the rights of an individual extend until they interfere with another's rights is a pretty solid and well accepted notion of liberty.
So say a hypothetical Maria likes to shop at Wal-Mart (or Target) because she is a poor student and prefers to spend her money on other things, but also because she simply likes the clothes. Or that a, say, Laura really likes Nike's, for reasons of fashion and comfort. Each of them has a right to choose whether to consume these products, and to be happy and satisfied with them. (like our hypothetical friend Dan and his iPods?) But, if you take the production of these clothes, and in the case of Wal-Mart, their conveniently low prices into account, aren't they in a way infringing on other people's rights to decent wages and healthcare and a means to survive and exist contentedly in the world? Sweatshops don't exactly enable liberty.
This is confusing to me. Or maybe its just late.
I am going to sleep now, goodnight.
So say a hypothetical Maria likes to shop at Wal-Mart (or Target) because she is a poor student and prefers to spend her money on other things, but also because she simply likes the clothes. Or that a, say, Laura really likes Nike's, for reasons of fashion and comfort. Each of them has a right to choose whether to consume these products, and to be happy and satisfied with them. (like our hypothetical friend Dan and his iPods?) But, if you take the production of these clothes, and in the case of Wal-Mart, their conveniently low prices into account, aren't they in a way infringing on other people's rights to decent wages and healthcare and a means to survive and exist contentedly in the world? Sweatshops don't exactly enable liberty.
This is confusing to me. Or maybe its just late.
I am going to sleep now, goodnight.
Stupidity
http://www.cato.org/pubs/policy_report/cpr-20n1-1.html
I came across this article somewhere on the internet, and its title intrigued me. So I read it. Its kind of long, so in short:
Robert Nozick, in analyzing what makes such a large proportion of intellectuals oppose capitalism, says "Why then do contemporary intellectuals feel entitled to the highest rewards their society has to offer and resentful when they do not receive this? Intellectuals feel they are the most valuable people, the ones with the highest merit, and that society should reward people in accordance with their value and merit. But a capitalist society does not satisfy the principle of distribution "to each according to his merit or value." Apart from the gifts, inheritances, and gambling winnings that occur in a free society, the market distributes to those who satisfy the perceived market-expressed demands of others, and how much it so distributes depends on how much is demanded and how great the alternative supply is. Unsuccessful businessmen and workers do not have the same animus against the capitalist system as do the wordsmith intellectuals. Only the sense of unrecognized superiority, of entitlement betrayed, produces that animus."
His argument continues to answer his question through an analysis of the educational system, basically claiming that intellectuals (who he defines as "wordsmiths" - not necessarily all academics, but those in positions to generate and articulate ideas. ie not mathematicians, but published geography professors) are rewarded in school based on a different set of values than they later encounter in greater society, and are thus resentful that they are not sufficiently recognized once they leave academia.
Though the article gets a little more complicated than that (read it, e, you'd find it interesting), that's basically his point. Intellectuals feel underappreciated by society, and are therefore jealous, and therefore resentful.
(You should know that this article comes from a market-liberal/libretarian think tank. Don't even get me started on their mission statement.)
This idea makes me mad, and a little sad. You know I consider myself a little intellectual, you do too. We're college students with inquiring minds :) And I do think that knowledge is an incredibly important part of life, and society. I do want more people to be intellectually inclined in the world. I think that's supremely important. Perhaps that value is selfish, in a way. I know it is, actually. I want people to be as privileged as I am in opportunities to look critically at the world.
But how can he dare say that any anti-capitalist tendencies I might have are purely because I am resentful that the system doesn't value me? He operates on the assumption that people are not capable of empathy. I make this accusation because I firmly believe that my opposition to capitalism comes from a deep incapability to ignore the inequalities that it has produced. I don't feel under-appreciated, just mad that people like him have so little faith in the ability of people to acknowledge the sufferings of other people, and his presumption that people are so inherently individualistic. I am an individual, but I'm a part of a collective, and I'm keenly aware that I am only able to articulate my ideas because society has given me opportunities to do so.
Though capitalism relies on an assumption that people are selfish, constant resistance to it has demonstrated otherwise, in so many cases. We can be collective in our actions, rational in terms of a group rather than ourselves. This is something I need to keep believing, it helps keep me sane through my cynicism.
Its so hard to save the world when it feels that society emphasizes individuality so much that people can legitimately disseminate their overbearingly stifling ideas that people are so selfish and individualistic as to solely oppose an ideology based on how resentful they are.
Kid, why do we care so much?
I came across this article somewhere on the internet, and its title intrigued me. So I read it. Its kind of long, so in short:
Robert Nozick, in analyzing what makes such a large proportion of intellectuals oppose capitalism, says "Why then do contemporary intellectuals feel entitled to the highest rewards their society has to offer and resentful when they do not receive this? Intellectuals feel they are the most valuable people, the ones with the highest merit, and that society should reward people in accordance with their value and merit. But a capitalist society does not satisfy the principle of distribution "to each according to his merit or value." Apart from the gifts, inheritances, and gambling winnings that occur in a free society, the market distributes to those who satisfy the perceived market-expressed demands of others, and how much it so distributes depends on how much is demanded and how great the alternative supply is. Unsuccessful businessmen and workers do not have the same animus against the capitalist system as do the wordsmith intellectuals. Only the sense of unrecognized superiority, of entitlement betrayed, produces that animus."
His argument continues to answer his question through an analysis of the educational system, basically claiming that intellectuals (who he defines as "wordsmiths" - not necessarily all academics, but those in positions to generate and articulate ideas. ie not mathematicians, but published geography professors) are rewarded in school based on a different set of values than they later encounter in greater society, and are thus resentful that they are not sufficiently recognized once they leave academia.
Though the article gets a little more complicated than that (read it, e, you'd find it interesting), that's basically his point. Intellectuals feel underappreciated by society, and are therefore jealous, and therefore resentful.
(You should know that this article comes from a market-liberal/libretarian think tank. Don't even get me started on their mission statement.)
This idea makes me mad, and a little sad. You know I consider myself a little intellectual, you do too. We're college students with inquiring minds :) And I do think that knowledge is an incredibly important part of life, and society. I do want more people to be intellectually inclined in the world. I think that's supremely important. Perhaps that value is selfish, in a way. I know it is, actually. I want people to be as privileged as I am in opportunities to look critically at the world.
But how can he dare say that any anti-capitalist tendencies I might have are purely because I am resentful that the system doesn't value me? He operates on the assumption that people are not capable of empathy. I make this accusation because I firmly believe that my opposition to capitalism comes from a deep incapability to ignore the inequalities that it has produced. I don't feel under-appreciated, just mad that people like him have so little faith in the ability of people to acknowledge the sufferings of other people, and his presumption that people are so inherently individualistic. I am an individual, but I'm a part of a collective, and I'm keenly aware that I am only able to articulate my ideas because society has given me opportunities to do so.
Though capitalism relies on an assumption that people are selfish, constant resistance to it has demonstrated otherwise, in so many cases. We can be collective in our actions, rational in terms of a group rather than ourselves. This is something I need to keep believing, it helps keep me sane through my cynicism.
Its so hard to save the world when it feels that society emphasizes individuality so much that people can legitimately disseminate their overbearingly stifling ideas that people are so selfish and individualistic as to solely oppose an ideology based on how resentful they are.
Kid, why do we care so much?
3.8.08
What to do!
i was thinking of something you said in our previous conversation. ideology is intangible yes. and i've come to realize that this is my problem with ideologies, mainly "isms." most of the time there's a very intricately designed foundation beneath these ideologies that different people fight for, -which i appreciate and admire- but the motivation to fight for a certain ideology comes from a very tangible thing. for example, if a hypothetical Sophia grows up in a poor household, however witnessing all the riches in the world be devoured by others, she'll surely advocate equal rights for all. but then, a hypothetical Daniel, who derives pleasure out of the number of newer and newer models of ipods he possesses will not want to give his capitalistic privileges up. right? there are exceptions of course, but it isn't anyone's right to take away from Dan, this joy, let alone question the legitimacy of it.(i am being hypocritical here, i am ruthless when it comes to questioning legitimacy of luxury, and you would agree)here, the metropolitan part of the country does not cease complaining about how stupid the rest of the people in this country are, for voting twice on the conservative party - which is of course not the desirable government! but the farmer plowing his field for a never profiting plantation of cauliflowers makes his decision very easily based on the insignificant(from a broader perspective) amount of raise the government puts on the baseline price of cauliflower. so, when there are so many tiny tiny details influencing people's lives greatly, i find it overwhelming, once again, to save the world. ah, what to do!
29.7.08
A vital conversation for your everyday life.
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me: yo
i just left you a fb message
whatup?
you: hi!
ooh
mmm...not a lot
me: m not a lot with me either
you: so we found a marxist bar today
me: oh yeah,
you: its my new favorite place in santiago
me: how's it a marxist bar?
you: its the one juliana told me about...i love it!
well...it was started with the intention of being a space to talk about alternative politics in santiago
you: and there are unidad popular (salvador allende's party) posters, and chavez posters, and pictures of che and fidel castro and famous protest songwriters (like silvio rodriguez, who's great) and writing all over the walls
and they have free dance classes
different kind of dance every night
me: oh wow
that is indeed very cool
you: yep
i want to bring it to vassar
me: hahaha, i'd say impossible
you: yeah, a little
me: people are either too hipster or too indifferent
you: yeah
but i think there could be a place
like, everyone who went to parties at t and r's house
maybe our house should be like that
just cause :)
me: hahahaha
perhaps
but there's time to come dear.
in a year we'll decide
you: yes :)
there's always time to come
i mean, i'm not communist by any means
me: i know
you: but it is a great bar :)
me: yep
me: so it's 2 am here
you: that's a little late
or early
me: i was out with these two guys,
and one made me realize how i forgot about the potential of the youth in turkey
he's involved with this youth awareness project that functions turkey wise. and i remembered my scouting days, when teenagers were still very much aware of and eager to change.
i seem to deny people agency.
oh my
you: yeah
i think its really easy to become cynical though
me: oh yes, incredibly easy
you: its very interesting to be here, in the context of university
the students are very politically active, and there have been a lot of protests this year
me: yeah?
you: we were walking around one of the campuses with some students (for orientation stuff), and they pointed out the best exit in case there were protests on campus and the police came in
me: see, that's so different from vassar
you: and there's graffiti with political slogans all over
me: oh wow
you: i know!
its so so different
and very hopeful in some ways
though i'm also morally torn about how much i would participate in a protest (assuming i understand the issues well, and its recognizable solidarity, and all of that)
i mean, i wouldn't do so unless it felt right intellectually
you: but if it did feel right, the thing is that they do sometimes get out of hand a little, and if anything happened (ie i got arrested...which won't happen but there's always a chance, since there is very little state tolerance), i get deported
so its a difficult question
in sooooo many ways
but its also really interesting to see how active people are
me: yes..
these are the exact same thoughts i had about protests in the states
but then the thing is,
protests require large amounts of people
and to gather large amounts of people requires simple or general ideas people can all agree with
or be motivated by
and i find these general ideas impossible for me to adopt, most of the time
you: that's true
me: duuuude
you: but not always
me: we should be writing these in the blog.
i'll do that first thing in the morning=)
since i haven't written
you: i mean, everyone has more complicated ideas than just those that can be articulated on posters
hahaha...we should
maybe we should just copy and paste this conversation :)
me: well, yes..but i'm not talking about the posters.
oh yeah, let's
hahaha
i'll do it, ok=)
now even.
but, to go back to the topic,
i don't mean the ideas on the posters
you: i know you arent'
but its an example
me: i'm talking about a simple idea that acts as an umbrella to most people's let's say leftist beliefs instead of giving them opportunity to express the differences within this system of beliefs more specifically and immaculately
for example,
here there are so many people from 2 generations ago
you: oh i know exactly what you mean
me: who have gone through lifetimes of protests and struggles
for political ideas,
and now when they speak about it,
it's all void of one concrete ideal.
and i find that this is the problem most of the time
you: void of a concrete ideal?
me: something tangible people are striving for.
i don't mean to dismiss their efforts.
you: ah
yeah
but its difficult to find something tangible, since ideology isn't tangible
me: i just mean that most of these people just join the struggle because it's better than not having an opinion.
you: i mean, i agree
me: or they want to fight or something.
you: i think its a natural reaction to the awful things we see in the world
me: or just like the supporters of any ism, they're too reluctant to see the other side of things
yes yes, i agree
you: nobody is completely passive to seeing the world's suffering
me: it's natural.
i just wish there was a way people could express -and be listened to- more seriously
you: but i also think that we do have larger ideals that we can hold in solidarity with other people, even if we don't all understand the complexity of a problem in the same way
oh, absolutely
i wish that too
me: yes, and that is why in multi party governments, it's always better to have two parties against each other than have votes divided up.
also,
you: meaning?
me: meaning, if you have 5 democrat parties and 1 republican, then republican party is of advantage because democrats vote to those 5 parties and divide up the number of their votes
you: that's true...but it also means that more diversity of opinion can be expressed within the democrats
me: yes, but nothing comes out of it, since they don't get elected.
you: and that makes it a whole lot more competitive, and encourages (or necessitates) coalitions
but coalition govts?
i mean, i think that a multi-party system is really important, and perhaps more democratic than a bi-party system
it allows a lot more room for political discourse
me: yes, definitely. i don't have a solution for this, unfortunately.
you: yeah...that's my problem with everything
me: but then a thousand parties with slightly different visions and missions is not feasible
you: i mean, if you look at the US system, its terrible!
well yeah
that too
that's why i think that we need democracy to be a lot more grassroots
me: yes.
by the way i'm writing it here so that i won'
t forget
you: instead of having parties define their ideology and then impose a choice on the people, we should be able to organically produce solutions
me: kurds-fanon. something i'll write about later.
you: okay
haha...okay
me: yes, i agree..but then in a way people do organically produce solutions. after all the people who do govern parties are part of the regular folk..or have been.
me: ok kid.
i must leave.
sleep awaits.
love declares.
boring people.
all over.
security guards smack of redundancy.
and i still miss.
love love.
you: yeah
love love back
sleep well
me: you too, eventually.
say hello/hola to santiago para mi.
correct?
you: si, po
(po is another chilean word :))
me: yo
i just left you a fb message
whatup?
you: hi!
ooh
mmm...not a lot
me: m not a lot with me either
you: so we found a marxist bar today
me: oh yeah,
you: its my new favorite place in santiago
me: how's it a marxist bar?
you: its the one juliana told me about...i love it!
well...it was started with the intention of being a space to talk about alternative politics in santiago
you: and there are unidad popular (salvador allende's party) posters, and chavez posters, and pictures of che and fidel castro and famous protest songwriters (like silvio rodriguez, who's great) and writing all over the walls
and they have free dance classes
different kind of dance every night
me: oh wow
that is indeed very cool
you: yep
i want to bring it to vassar
me: hahaha, i'd say impossible
you: yeah, a little
me: people are either too hipster or too indifferent
you: yeah
but i think there could be a place
like, everyone who went to parties at t and r's house
maybe our house should be like that
just cause :)
me: hahahaha
perhaps
but there's time to come dear.
in a year we'll decide
you: yes :)
there's always time to come
i mean, i'm not communist by any means
me: i know
you: but it is a great bar :)
me: yep
me: so it's 2 am here
you: that's a little late
or early
me: i was out with these two guys,
and one made me realize how i forgot about the potential of the youth in turkey
he's involved with this youth awareness project that functions turkey wise. and i remembered my scouting days, when teenagers were still very much aware of and eager to change.
i seem to deny people agency.
oh my
you: yeah
i think its really easy to become cynical though
me: oh yes, incredibly easy
you: its very interesting to be here, in the context of university
the students are very politically active, and there have been a lot of protests this year
me: yeah?
you: we were walking around one of the campuses with some students (for orientation stuff), and they pointed out the best exit in case there were protests on campus and the police came in
me: see, that's so different from vassar
you: and there's graffiti with political slogans all over
me: oh wow
you: i know!
its so so different
and very hopeful in some ways
though i'm also morally torn about how much i would participate in a protest (assuming i understand the issues well, and its recognizable solidarity, and all of that)
i mean, i wouldn't do so unless it felt right intellectually
you: but if it did feel right, the thing is that they do sometimes get out of hand a little, and if anything happened (ie i got arrested...which won't happen but there's always a chance, since there is very little state tolerance), i get deported
so its a difficult question
in sooooo many ways
but its also really interesting to see how active people are
me: yes..
these are the exact same thoughts i had about protests in the states
but then the thing is,
protests require large amounts of people
and to gather large amounts of people requires simple or general ideas people can all agree with
or be motivated by
and i find these general ideas impossible for me to adopt, most of the time
you: that's true
me: duuuude
you: but not always
me: we should be writing these in the blog.
i'll do that first thing in the morning=)
since i haven't written
you: i mean, everyone has more complicated ideas than just those that can be articulated on posters
hahaha...we should
maybe we should just copy and paste this conversation :)
me: well, yes..but i'm not talking about the posters.
oh yeah, let's
hahaha
i'll do it, ok=)
now even.
but, to go back to the topic,
i don't mean the ideas on the posters
you: i know you arent'
but its an example
me: i'm talking about a simple idea that acts as an umbrella to most people's let's say leftist beliefs instead of giving them opportunity to express the differences within this system of beliefs more specifically and immaculately
for example,
here there are so many people from 2 generations ago
you: oh i know exactly what you mean
me: who have gone through lifetimes of protests and struggles
for political ideas,
and now when they speak about it,
it's all void of one concrete ideal.
and i find that this is the problem most of the time
you: void of a concrete ideal?
me: something tangible people are striving for.
i don't mean to dismiss their efforts.
you: ah
yeah
but its difficult to find something tangible, since ideology isn't tangible
me: i just mean that most of these people just join the struggle because it's better than not having an opinion.
you: i mean, i agree
me: or they want to fight or something.
you: i think its a natural reaction to the awful things we see in the world
me: or just like the supporters of any ism, they're too reluctant to see the other side of things
yes yes, i agree
you: nobody is completely passive to seeing the world's suffering
me: it's natural.
i just wish there was a way people could express -and be listened to- more seriously
you: but i also think that we do have larger ideals that we can hold in solidarity with other people, even if we don't all understand the complexity of a problem in the same way
oh, absolutely
i wish that too
me: yes, and that is why in multi party governments, it's always better to have two parties against each other than have votes divided up.
also,
you: meaning?
me: meaning, if you have 5 democrat parties and 1 republican, then republican party is of advantage because democrats vote to those 5 parties and divide up the number of their votes
you: that's true...but it also means that more diversity of opinion can be expressed within the democrats
me: yes, but nothing comes out of it, since they don't get elected.
you: and that makes it a whole lot more competitive, and encourages (or necessitates) coalitions
but coalition govts?
i mean, i think that a multi-party system is really important, and perhaps more democratic than a bi-party system
it allows a lot more room for political discourse
me: yes, definitely. i don't have a solution for this, unfortunately.
you: yeah...that's my problem with everything
me: but then a thousand parties with slightly different visions and missions is not feasible
you: i mean, if you look at the US system, its terrible!
well yeah
that too
that's why i think that we need democracy to be a lot more grassroots
me: yes.
by the way i'm writing it here so that i won'
t forget
you: instead of having parties define their ideology and then impose a choice on the people, we should be able to organically produce solutions
me: kurds-fanon. something i'll write about later.
you: okay
haha...okay
me: yes, i agree..but then in a way people do organically produce solutions. after all the people who do govern parties are part of the regular folk..or have been.
me: ok kid.
i must leave.
sleep awaits.
love declares.
boring people.
all over.
security guards smack of redundancy.
and i still miss.
love love.
you: yeah
love love back
sleep well
me: you too, eventually.
say hello/hola to santiago para mi.
correct?
you: si, po
(po is another chilean word :))
26.7.08
More Windows
Traveling, in its basic kinetic definition, is space for reflection and time to reorient and recollect our fragmented, stretched out, and conflicted selves, a space for the collection and regrounding of our thoughts and souls. Or at least, mine. That’s why windows are useful – they give us a space between the concrete world of the train (or car or boat or plane) and that of equally material Outside. I like to think that my self recollects itself most easily somewhere in the vicinity of my gaze and the space in the stillness between the movements of opposing but parallel concrete worlds.
Incidentally, my first sight of Chile was through the airplane window, which I serendipitously opened just as the sun was rising over the (currently very very snowy) Andes. Me encanta.
Incidentally, my first sight of Chile was through the airplane window, which I serendipitously opened just as the sun was rising over the (currently very very snowy) Andes. Me encanta.
to serve
Changing people’s worlds, a conversation we’ve had, e, for a long time now, isn’t simply to modify their behaviour as you desire it. To me, changing the world is not necessarily to make them think more for the sake of thinking, but to make them think more such that more positive changes (this word again!) can happen in the world. I think this desire comes from the fact that a) people are, as you say, naturally empathetic, and b), that this is a way of reconciling the contradictions and sufferings and injustices we see in our world. For me, a lot of that is knowledge that I’ve been afforded the privileges that I have. The fact that so many people haven’t, and will never, even have the option of dreaming about these privileges, and that I can see this fact every day, is what gives me the will and desire to attempt to change people’s lives. Ultimately, that change, if its true, will only happen (or be effective) through the agency of the recipient. So we’re not trying to change people’s lives, necessarily. That would be arrogant. To me, we’re changing opportunities, and in doing so, attempting to reconcile our world’s enormous inequalities. Also, its not about simply changing the lives of individuals, its about changing the way the system that we have created functions. Since we're all part of the system, we're all culpable for its flaws. So perhaps its also a responsibility. Being apathetic, or choosing not to do something, is still a choice, and therefore an action.
that other monotheistic religion
This impartial relationship towards Islam, a fruit of the occident’s double life, has never found its equivalent in my relationship with the occident’s other, more pervasive ideology, perhaps because I’ve always, intentionally or not, been somewhat immersed in it. The other day, I went to church with my family. This is not normal, but not abnormal either…though my current ideological differences with organized religion, Christianity in particular I suppose because it is what I know, have become too great for me to claim faith in any god who’s named, even just in part, Jesus, it’s a social thing, and familial traditions have always pulled stronger than non-attendance for ideological motives. Its not that disagreement and criticism is banned, oh no, quite the opposite, but church to my family has always been considered a learning experience. A sort of impartial curiosity that isn’t impartial at all, since how can the product of an ideology be impartial to it? So I went.
The interesting part was that I finally really hit upon, or perhaps found words for, the biggest reason that I am so ideologically, (and gut-feelingly), not Christian. The pastor gave his sermon on a parable that is at first so so wrong sounding, so sickening in so many ways, and so (at first) demonstrative of the exclusivity I find terribly frustrating and contradictory to a religion which the main tenent is “God is love.” Or supposedly. But the sermon interpreted it in a way that made so much sense to me, one which I ended up finding myself being quite willing to embrace. My mother turned to me and whispered, “I wish we could send this to George Bush and convince him not to attack Iran.” How my mother. But then I realized - the reason I have such a gut opposition to the Christianity that I’ve experienced is not because there are parables and verses that I fundamentally disagree with. Because they can, by intelligent, kind-hearted pastors and people, be interpreted, logically, in ways that I fundamentally agree with. More, it’s the fact that there is so much, like this parable, that can be so easily interpreted in the most destructive and exclusive ways. That it’s easier and more natural (even and especially for me, being the critical person I am) to make these negative interpretations is what really disturbs me. How could a god perpetuate so much suffering in the world simply by relating his/her word in a way that, being omniscient, he/she would obviously know would be grossly misinterpreted to be exactly the opposite of loving? This I do not understand.
The interesting part was that I finally really hit upon, or perhaps found words for, the biggest reason that I am so ideologically, (and gut-feelingly), not Christian. The pastor gave his sermon on a parable that is at first so so wrong sounding, so sickening in so many ways, and so (at first) demonstrative of the exclusivity I find terribly frustrating and contradictory to a religion which the main tenent is “God is love.” Or supposedly. But the sermon interpreted it in a way that made so much sense to me, one which I ended up finding myself being quite willing to embrace. My mother turned to me and whispered, “I wish we could send this to George Bush and convince him not to attack Iran.” How my mother. But then I realized - the reason I have such a gut opposition to the Christianity that I’ve experienced is not because there are parables and verses that I fundamentally disagree with. Because they can, by intelligent, kind-hearted pastors and people, be interpreted, logically, in ways that I fundamentally agree with. More, it’s the fact that there is so much, like this parable, that can be so easily interpreted in the most destructive and exclusive ways. That it’s easier and more natural (even and especially for me, being the critical person I am) to make these negative interpretations is what really disturbs me. How could a god perpetuate so much suffering in the world simply by relating his/her word in a way that, being omniscient, he/she would obviously know would be grossly misinterpreted to be exactly the opposite of loving? This I do not understand.
20.7.08
Do you look out the window?
i met with a friend the other day. to me, he used to exist only in letters. after our several hours long conversation, i found myself repeating some things in my head, and arguing to myself in the bus ride back home. here are some things i'd like you to know as well. he said he was a hardcore capitalist. i didn't question what this meant, and just took his word for it. he asked me, what different it makes to have changed someone else's world, when i told him becoming a university professor may be my future. a lot of the time, i am tempted by this style of thinking. it really doesn't matter, does it? but then there's also this feeling i get when i am aware of injustice happening and i choose to ignore (we all do it, all the time). but i decided that it's the same drive that urges one to help people, as the drive that makes someone cover a scantily clad person sleeping in the cold. my mom always tells me she gets shivers when she sees me with insufficient amount of layers in the winter. isn't it the same wish then, to educate people so that they'll spend as much time thinking about things? or that they'll get pleasure out of creating something?
my thoughts seem to float in my head, and i need/like lists to put them together. we have talked about this with t. a little bit: how when you're asked a question, sometimes you think of everything but the answer, just because you're not really trying to think and thoughts float around in your head. this is why lists are pleasing to me.
to go back to the conversation with my friend of letters. i said i enjoy writing, he said he doesn't enjoy anything even similar to creating, but devouring the creations of other people. and i tried to tell him how excited it makes me to create fiction. then somehow, we started talking about how he doesn't enjoy talking to people for long periods of time, but reads a lot. i wondered, on the way back home, why are people so boring, but books that tell people's stories not. surely, someone gets pleasure out of creating such fictitious worlds. he also seemed a bit surprised when i said, someone has to create for him to enjoy these works of art etc.
finally, he said he was amazed at how people can just sit in a bus/ferry/any sort of public transportation and look out the window, with music in their headphones, but wiht no book to read. i said i enjoy the ferry rides, i don't read on them. and on the way back, i was looking out the window, with il visconte dimezzato on my lap. i thought, for instance, i need to watch things, to have something to write about and this must be the case for any other writer/artist/musician/sculptor etc. i thought, you can't get material solely from the books you read, one should look out the window as well.
do you ride the bus? do you look out the window, when you do?
my thoughts seem to float in my head, and i need/like lists to put them together. we have talked about this with t. a little bit: how when you're asked a question, sometimes you think of everything but the answer, just because you're not really trying to think and thoughts float around in your head. this is why lists are pleasing to me.
to go back to the conversation with my friend of letters. i said i enjoy writing, he said he doesn't enjoy anything even similar to creating, but devouring the creations of other people. and i tried to tell him how excited it makes me to create fiction. then somehow, we started talking about how he doesn't enjoy talking to people for long periods of time, but reads a lot. i wondered, on the way back home, why are people so boring, but books that tell people's stories not. surely, someone gets pleasure out of creating such fictitious worlds. he also seemed a bit surprised when i said, someone has to create for him to enjoy these works of art etc.
finally, he said he was amazed at how people can just sit in a bus/ferry/any sort of public transportation and look out the window, with music in their headphones, but wiht no book to read. i said i enjoy the ferry rides, i don't read on them. and on the way back, i was looking out the window, with il visconte dimezzato on my lap. i thought, for instance, i need to watch things, to have something to write about and this must be the case for any other writer/artist/musician/sculptor etc. i thought, you can't get material solely from the books you read, one should look out the window as well.
do you ride the bus? do you look out the window, when you do?
Le Double Vie de l'Occident
so the occident has a double life. until i have been there, lived there, absorbed the words of the people there, i had been educated in the style of an occident so different from the real one. i'm not sure if it was teenage angst or the ease with which one can deny things, but i, like many of my friends, denied islam any agency. then i slid into another life, where i learned the other face of the occcident (or is it only my school?) and i've been interested in learning about islam, reading arabic, knowing more and more about what could be called the mystical roots of my country, not to conclude that this religion deserves complete belief - it may, for some- but because it's interesting, and it doens't have many objective, curious, enthusiastic students. i have a friend who studied in England. he has a "verses from the Qur'an" application in his facebook. i am certain that the impression of such a thing would be much different if he hadn't been educated in te UK. so, as we move, we exchange our definitions of east and west finally to end up in a nameless location; purgatory in between a non heaven and non hell. for some reason, this placelessness is comforting to me.
l'eternita
does it ever happen to you that you realize you can't remember some books you've read. i once read a book called the perks of being a wallflower. now i have no idea what it was about. how pressuring when there are millions and millions of books i still must read...
one wonders
headscarf, headscarf. now, the smaller branches of our precious governing party have started to give women with headscarves money to go shop in incredibly expensive fashion stores in istanbul, just so they can be seen in these shops. i don't know what to think about this. it's not only obama that's been chewing up the word "change" and spitting it out in different forms, at different times, but here, both the left and the right wings have been telling us they represent change. if only intentions had colors, and let's say yellow meant feigning beliefs...half the people in the world would walk around like yellow highlighters. i have been seeing more covered women walking with men in shorts and t-shirts besides them. even though i wholeheartedly think that labeling policies on clothes is nothing but oppressive in and of itself, i am also upset that physically, it's a one sided burden under this blazing summer sun.
Drawbacks of living alone
there's a huge chunk of cheese in the fridge. it's as long and three times as thick as my lower arm, i'd say. and there used to be another block of cheese, (the same kind of cheese, i must specify)and this one was about the size of an eraser. i have been living alone for 10 days, d, and you know how much i like cheese. i just finished the smaller block. just so you know.
B&W
a couple in berlin had twin boys, one black, one white. this is all good so far, i even like the idea that they're brothers and they'll probably/hopefully have equally happy lives. however, the funny thing is that, a soccer team in turkey called besiktas offered them lots of paraphernalia because the team's colors are black and white. apparently, the family is invited to a besiktas game, provided with baby supplies with besiktas logos on them, and even given financial support. i find it interesting how i laugh the most when i'm watching the news on television.
pointless
we just spoke on the phone, and i am fascinated by how discreet and natural it's been for some people to become habits in my life. i am eating hazelnut cream. i'd like to say peanut butter but this is different. have you ever had it? the other day, at a cafe i was waiting for my childhood friend in(her close friend had died four days ago, to me you're alive forever, d. i can't imagine anything else) a man and a woman sat at the table next to mine. i was reading my "il visconte dimezzato" when i unintentionally started eavesdropping on their conversation. they were on a 21st century style blind date. the man asked "how did you find me?' the woman answered 'as i expected.now you should ask me what i expected. you're you, just as you spoke.' then i couldn't listen anymore, my friend came.
Untitled, like the paper you're trying to write
A different you, a you sitting in that oh so gorgeous library across from the you in the previous post, writes a different paper, for a professor notoriously bad at helping students come up with paper topics. This one’s about politics, and Africa. The topic chosen, as you tend to choose, is borders. You secretly (or maybe not so secretly) think that borders are just about the most important thing in the world, and enjoy using phrases like “socio-spatial relationships” to convey the ever important concepts that you are presenting to the world, or perhaps only your professor.
You have an implicit understanding that the complicated and hierarchical and unequal power relationships that characterize capitalism and globalization occur across, within, in the space between, and, most significantly, because of borders. You silently think that this is what the other you should write in her paper.
You also drink too much coffee, and enjoy taking your shoes off under the table, listening to loud dancey 80s music, and tapping your feet secretly while you pretend to read something profound on your computer screen in the desperate hope that this façade will actually produce coherent thoughts.
You really want to go outside. You take another sip of coffee, and look out the window.
Your mind wanders to the violence about which you are writing. Identity is such an important thing, so capable of making people destroy each other. Randomly, you begin to ponder a whole other aspect of identity, away from ethnicity and citizenship, to journals. Maybe (and this is you justifying your procrastination), journals offer a representation of identity. (?) or maybe not. At all. But the conversation you had the other night was rather interesting.
You had always wanted to talk to this particular professor. Probably because of his amazing beard. People with long white beards exude the air of being interesting to talk to. Anyways, the conversation was about journals. More specifically, reading other people’s journals. A journal, in some sense, is a way of representing oneself to oneself. You’ve never felt that your journal entries were faithful to what you were actually feeling and thinking at the time, they sound, to your ears, rather contrived. As if there is a boundary between your self and your words. So if someone, hypothetically decided to transcribe your journal after your death and fame, what would they know of you and your self? Is a journal any truer than a conversation with a person who knows you well? You suppose it depends.
Maybe everything does come down to borders after all.
You have an implicit understanding that the complicated and hierarchical and unequal power relationships that characterize capitalism and globalization occur across, within, in the space between, and, most significantly, because of borders. You silently think that this is what the other you should write in her paper.
You also drink too much coffee, and enjoy taking your shoes off under the table, listening to loud dancey 80s music, and tapping your feet secretly while you pretend to read something profound on your computer screen in the desperate hope that this façade will actually produce coherent thoughts.
You really want to go outside. You take another sip of coffee, and look out the window.
Your mind wanders to the violence about which you are writing. Identity is such an important thing, so capable of making people destroy each other. Randomly, you begin to ponder a whole other aspect of identity, away from ethnicity and citizenship, to journals. Maybe (and this is you justifying your procrastination), journals offer a representation of identity. (?) or maybe not. At all. But the conversation you had the other night was rather interesting.
You had always wanted to talk to this particular professor. Probably because of his amazing beard. People with long white beards exude the air of being interesting to talk to. Anyways, the conversation was about journals. More specifically, reading other people’s journals. A journal, in some sense, is a way of representing oneself to oneself. You’ve never felt that your journal entries were faithful to what you were actually feeling and thinking at the time, they sound, to your ears, rather contrived. As if there is a boundary between your self and your words. So if someone, hypothetically decided to transcribe your journal after your death and fame, what would they know of you and your self? Is a journal any truer than a conversation with a person who knows you well? You suppose it depends.
Maybe everything does come down to borders after all.
Too Much Coffee
Ben Harper in your ear, a blank word document and you’re thinking about globalization. Second year in college is enough experience for you to refuse all of the seven paper topics your professor offered you so you choose your own and it all leads up to the same conclusion that capitalism sucks. But no, here you are sitting in possibly the most gorgeous library in the world thinking and thinking a bit more about globalization in relation to sex, race, area, the orient, the occident, borders, nation-states and wealth. It gets more and more difficult to write a paper on a specific point of focus because thoughts aren’t organized in categories in your head and answers just lead to more questions. Then you decide that perhaps Jose Gonzalez is a better music choice for your current mood.
Your argument is that globalization, due to the fact that the reason for its primary existence is international trade, depends on capitalism. Capitalism is structured on different socio-economic classes. So third-world cultures become lower classes and the first world adopts the arrogance of the bourgeoisie. Then you decide that you know, for sure, that this west-centered economic and cultural process of globalization causes tons and tons of problems. Now you need to find a way to develop your argument and you have all the resources you need. But instead you express your frustration and discuss these issues with your friends. One says globalization is good for the poor and another states that the upper-class just becomes one universal layer of identical outfits, hand gestures and all sorts of other tastes.
No, thoughts aren’t confined to digital sheets or notebooks. They are ubiquitous in your life and you need to be awake to organize these thoughts into clearer frames. So you end up drinking too much coffee and wonder why two medium size cups of coffee consumed in the last one and a half hour are not enough to chase away your insistent sleepiness..
First Post
Hello hello,
We are two Vassar College students who care and think about a wide range of things. From issues in the US Mexico Border to the problems language causes for post-colonial writers who wish to "write back," from making maps to writing stories about afterlife, our minds are constantly busy questioning this or that issue. Therefore we decided to create this blog to be publicly in dialog with each other. We also have a secret aim in this, which is to make our thoughts clearer in our heads by writing them out.
Hope you enjoy!
We are two Vassar College students who care and think about a wide range of things. From issues in the US Mexico Border to the problems language causes for post-colonial writers who wish to "write back," from making maps to writing stories about afterlife, our minds are constantly busy questioning this or that issue. Therefore we decided to create this blog to be publicly in dialog with each other. We also have a secret aim in this, which is to make our thoughts clearer in our heads by writing them out.
Hope you enjoy!
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